The Marmalades of Yesteryear

But then, what is this time?

What is this place?

Should we sit here around our campfires and talk of the marmalades of yesteryear, or should we, those of us still with the sturdy knees of youth, take arms against these outrages and bring about a revolution?

Or should we just have another cup of tea and see what happens?

That is the problem with popular revolutions, finding out just how popular they are. It is hard to tell exactly how many people of this once great nation are disquietened about the state of marmalade in these days of multi-diverse breakfastings.

There was a time when toast and marmalade was de rigueur (pardon my Fr*nch) on the hard-working breakfast tables of this nation. It is no coincidence the heyday of the British Empire was also the heyday of the proper English breakfast. There is nothing quite like a full breakfast to get you into the mood for some overseas conquests.

Try trudging your way through an unexplored jungle with hostile natives on just a croissant and see how far you get, as for ruling the waves on a bowl of muesli… well, that is just asking for trouble. More than likely followed by hunger pangs around mid-morning, just as the enemy fleet is sighted off the starboard bow.

It is a fact often overlooked by historians too concerned with mere historical accuracy that this country was made great by its breakfasts. Especially the central role that marmalade – for so long – played in those selfsame breakfasts. Therefore, we strongly urge the urgent reformation of the school history curriculum to rectify this matter before this country loses even more sense of its own history.

 

[Books by David Hadley are available here (UK) or here (US).]