Self-Defence in the Street

Even then it was not all that obvious, despite the way she was holding it, with the dangerous end pointing at us. But, as you know, self-defence is a vital part of the modern world and, despite the obvious drawbacks of using a crocodile on a main shopping street during the busy Saturday afternoon, she had established a safety cordon around herself with little or none of the usual amount of injury and bloodshed to others than can often be the case.

However, going shopping with a crocodile, can – of course – be somewhat problematical, especially in a shop with narrow aisles, or large crowds, as other shoppers do rend to dislike having their lower extremities chewed off whilst they are out shopping. An event which makes shopping for new shoes somewhat problematical, especially if the shoe-shop assistant needs to retrieve the recently gnawed-off foot from an over-possessive crocodile.

Still, as the suppliers of the Self-Defence Crocodile have assured us, these are by their very nature only teething troubles (especially with the very young crocodiles, of course) and – they promise – will be fully resolved by the time of the nationwide roll-out of the service sometime in the next few months.

Critics, however, have pointed out that the use of leashed crocodiles by shoppers on the High street could cause even more damage to a struggling retail sector by driving away more customers. However, supporters of the scheme say it will result in shoppers feeling more secure on their shopping trips and – therefore – much more likely to venture out to the shops.

Time, though, will tell.