New TV Cookery Series

Still, as was said at the time, you can't make an omelette without having all the necessary omelette making ingredients and equipment.

The badger, however, is optional.

Some say it is the increasing desperation of TV cookery programme-makers that has forced this recent iteration of the erstwhile cooking programme back onto our screens. However, Cooking with Woodland Mammals was, at first regarded with some suspicion by both animal rights organisations and vegetarians, until it was revealed that the animals are merely studio guests, not part of the ingredients list.

Consequently, the introduction of a weasel into the studio to assist with the construction of a paella in the first episode was watched with interest by many such organisations, especially the RSPCA, mainly to make sure that the woodland creature was not unduly upset by being in the near vicinity of some rice, the treacle for the treacle tart dessert and a cleaver-welding celebrity chef.

However, that programme passed off without incident, or harm to the weasel. It also recorded some of the highest viewing figures ever gained by a cookery programme, leading to several inquires at specialist cooking equipment retailers about the possibility of purchasing a kitchen-ready weasel.

Representatives of the various animal welfare charities were also cautiously welcoming of the series, saying that it reveals a previously-unknown facet of Britain’s wildlife and that has long as no woodland creature is harmed or traumatised by the programme, there is no reason for them to oppose it. However, some of them did warn that the forthcoming episode where a pine marten shares a kitchen with Jamie Oliver may not be suitable viewing for those of a nervous disposition, and may raise animal rights concerns on behalf of the pine marten.