Roadside Repairs

It began – of course – in those dark dread years before we had even heard of the concept of multi-channel TV and the Test Card ruled our lives. Back in those days, of course, there were many ways for a young lady and her gentleman friend to get involved with each other, not all of which involved a game of naked Twister and a bottle of baby oil. Although, in the name of honesty, it must be admitted that some of those non-baby oil and Twister events did involve the use of either the Morris Marina or the Austin Allegro, so it was not – as nostalgia would attest – that joyous a time, especially considering the propensity of the Allegro’s wheel bearings to give out if – unreasonably, apparently, in the eyes of its makers – you expected the Allegro to travel further than its own length in distance.

Still, the delicate nature of the Allegro's wheel bearings did mean that many a game of naked baby-oil Twister was played under the moonlight at the side of the road whilst waiting for the breakdown truck to appear, which was why motoring organisations of the time all suggested that a Twister mat and a bottle of baby oil should form a part of every driver's emergency tool kit.

Of course, these days when any young driver examines your emergency tool kit they are – with the concomitant relative reliability of today's cars – always somewhat aghast to discover the Twister mat and baby oil. However, once apprised of the value of such precautions they will often see the wisdom of equipping themselves adequately should the same eventuality befall them at some point in the near future, thus are the great cultural traditions of this country maintained.