A Major Constitutional Crisis Averted

Anyway, as was said at the time, it is still not clear, which – if any – of the politicians gathered there was telling the truth. However, since video records of the occasion have been examined by experts it has since been discovered that over 95% of the politicians gathered there did – at one time or another – open their mouths. Consequently, as has been proved by countless pieces of prior academic research in the field, it is now firmly established that when politicians have their mouths open they are lying. It has also been, more or less, established that when their mouths are shut they are thinking about what they are going to lie about next.

Of course, there was the recent scandal when the member of parliament for Lower Backhander was forced to resign from the Houses of Parliament when it was discovered that he had accidentally told the truth to an undercover reporter posing as one of his constituents. Obviously, should he have been allowed to continue representing his constituency under such circumstances a major constitutional crisis could have occurred.

Consequently, several influential backbench MPs have recently tabled a motion asking for MPS expense allowances to be increased so each MP can afford to employ more nubile young research assistants. They claim this will ensure the MP is adequately briefed in future – in both senses of the word - before making any public utterances that – unbeknownst to the MP – later turn out to contain any element of truth. Without such safeguards, the MPs claim, and not without some justification, the whole process of democracy in this country could – if physically possible – sink even lower in the public's esteem.