Rock 'n' Roll Rebel

Bicuspid Tremoloarm, at first, took very seriously Bert Weedon's advice to 'Play with yourself Every Day', and soon developed the strength in his wrists to have a go at playing the guitar.

Soon, after a mere twelve years of daily practice, Tremoloarm could – sometimes – manage nearly a whole G major chord. Luckily for him, however, it was the age of punk and so musical ability was even more unnecessary than ever in the popular music scene. Unfortunately, though, Bicuspid was the son of Lord Molar Tremoloarm, owner of most of the south east of the Untied Kingdom, which – almost – put a crimp in Bicuspid's claim to impeccable working class credentials, especially when he – at least, initially - changed his name to Steve Wank.

Luckily, however, the punk scene soon collapsed, becoming little more than a form of street-level fancy dress, thus allowing Bicuspid to reclaim his name and to make yet another attempt to learn at least one more of the three chords necessary to be taken seriously as a rock musician.

His next band: The Immanent Tax Returns, did however have a hit single – the almost memorable I dream of Double-Entry, a song penned by Bicuspid himself when he realised that – after all – music was not his first love and that he yearned for accountancy.

However, his traditional aristocratic family looked down on such upstart careers as accountancy, the Tremoloarm's were descended from a long line of court musicians and it was rumoured that Voleskin Tremoloarm a court madrigal singer was the real father of the child that went on to become one of England's - far too many to remember - king Henrys.

So, faking his own drug-fuelled death, by ingesting seventeen packets of Fisherman's Friends at once, Bicuspid Tremoloarm was able to escape the constraints of the traditional rock 'n' roll career and follow his dream to explore the wild, untamed shores of accountancy.