Human Origins and Out of Africa

Even then, though, there were far too many of them to be entirely comfortable. After all, the fear of such things is almost instinctive in humans, probably dating back to when our ancestors still lived in the trees. For in those times, fleeing from an opinion pollster would have been limited by the lack of available sturdy branches for escape. If you have been corned on a fruit-bearing branch, for example, there is often no other way but out and then - rather too rapidly - down, when confronted by a clipboard-wielding hominid.

Archaeologists now tend to believe that it was a desire to escape questionnaires that led to the Neanderthals moving ever-northward to escape being asked their opinions on whether it had been a mistake to descend from the trees, or whether the ice-age would have been managed better by a party more interested in expansion of the state welfare system than one devoted to increasing mammoth hunting.

After the discovery of rudimentary clipboards carved from buffalo bone in Africa, it has - now – been assumed that homo-surveyist first appeared back in the very early days of humanity, which flatly contradicts the earlier assumption that opinion polls and market research had to wait until civilisation appeared in the fertile delta around the Tigris - Euphrates triangle.

However, it now seems that there has been a parallel evolution – of sorts – between normal human species, such as: homo-erectus, homo-hablis, homo-footballist, homo-blokedownthepubist and the homo-surveyist line going back way beyond the point where the human line split from the rest of the great apes. This goes – some scientists say – towards explaining the mysterious behaviour observed in the wild, where one orang-utan will approach another orang-utan whilst holding a large leaf in one hand and a pointed twig in the other, then attempt to proceeded to engaging the other in some sort of ritualized communication, usually much to the annoyance of the disturbed orang-utan, who was - up until then – quietly going about its own business.