Ah, but back in those days we were young and free, or – if not free - then willing to offer a generous discount to certain selected individuals. It seemed, back in those days that the summer would last forever… well, until the day after, when it started raining again.
She was young and firm in all the interesting places and soft and welcoming in all the very interesting places and rather rude in one particular place of Special Scientific Interest, enough to shock a protected species of newt anyway. Still, it was one of our more explicit adventures and thus would be little interest to anyone without an interest in such matters, or in the study of easily-embarrassed newts.
Still, though, the thing she did with the mayonnaise and the cheese salad baguette will stay with me for the rest of my life… although, sadly, not for one particular newt who became so embarrassed he dived into a nearby pond to cool his blushes and was swiftly eaten by a pike.
Then, as the long summer afternoon slowly seeped into the evening, she finished off the bottle of wine and then did that thing that – if they had not all gone into hiding at the bottom of another pike-free pond - would have caused several of the remaining newts to write stern letters of disapproval to the editor of the local newspaper about the moral laxity of the youth of today.
Although, I must say my lower back hasn’t been the same since.
Still, though, as summer afternoons go, it easily beat watching yet more bloody tennis.
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