A World Enough and Time

Still, you can’t have everything, not only is there no place to put it all, the delivery charges are going to be a bit of a bugger, especially if you end up having to warp the very fabric of space-time in order to deliver everything to itself. You don’t get much choice as to the colour either, come to that.

Then there is the problems with the herds of wild animals migrating right across it as soon as you’ve got it put up on the shelf, not to mention losing a black hole or two down the back of the sofa and the problem with tripping over the dark matter in the middle of the night when you urgently need a quick pi… trip to the toilet in the dark.

Then, probably, just as soon as you get everything, they go and bring out a new model with loads more everything in it, for half the price and in a choice of colours. Thereby making yours look… well, a lot less like everything and more like a whole load of nothing, especially when that smug git from three doors down happens to mention he’s got the latest model and invites you round to have a look at it, knowing only too well about how you bought one of the last of the old model. Then he can’t wait to show you all the new features, including the wild animal migration control and the new version of string theory that prevents you from mislaying a black hole down the back of the sofa ever again.

But… like I said… you can’t have everything, just wait until the next new model comes out next year, then you’ll be able to give that smug git a lesson he won’t forget.