Arcane and Mystical Codes

Back in those long ago days, of course, there was no such thing as the internet and any connoisseur of the rude and naughty had to make their way out into the open air in order to even get a glimpse of a photograph of an underdressed young lady. Furthermore, cute kittens could only ever be found gambolling on greeting cards and on posters in the bedrooms of teenage girls.

Still, we were young then and had the thighs of those not unused to strolling down a public thoroughfare in the midst of winter, or – if we were unlucky – getting extremely moistened by the typical British summer downpour.

Still, at least, in those days you didn’t have to rely on a sort of hit and miss game of ‘guess the next letter’ in order to get your word processor spell-checker to reveal to you how to spell ‘connoisseur’, in fact – if you were lucky you’d never even had a go on a typewriter, let alone had to learn the secret arcane code of the mystical Qwertyuiop tribe and their strange rituals of dexterity and incantation that would bring forth words of great wisdom onto the screens or pages of the ungodly.

You could also, if you so choose, wear a hat. Which, when you are just sitting there typing looks rather overdressed for the occasion, if not silly, unless of course you choose to wear a pith helmet, which is always stylish, no matter what the occasion.