Late-Night Philosophising

Obviously, there are very few peregrinations or perambulations of the perimeters of possibility that do end up at a place of great philosophical import. Unless, of course, we include journeys to that most profound place of philosophical pursuance, outside the fabled ancient symposium, the fish and chip shop.

It has long been a tradition in practical British philosophising to use the late night take-away as a place of philosophical speculation, including that perennial philosophical problem often encountered at such times. Here, of course, we speak of that philosophical problem we have all encountered, namely: 'how can I be sure these are the same legs I had when I first went into the pub, seeing as these ones don't seem to be working properly?'

It is a problem that has perplexed many philosophers down the centuries, made especially famous by Kant's seeming inability to leave the bier Keller late in the evening without walking into a lamppost.

The late night philosophising over a substantial snack was first – of course – utilised by Greek philosopher after they had understood the philosophical importance of the kebab during one of their many battlefield philosophical discussions with the Persians. The Ancient Greeks immediately saw the value of a post-evening's snack easily held completely in one hand, thus leaving the sword-hand free for the raising of any vital philosophical point should the debate become heated.

Philosophy after the Ancient Greeks fell into a long theologically-dominated morass right up until the invention of the sandwich re-invigorated philosophical inquiry, enabling a philosopher to peruse a paradox without becoming distracted by the complexity of cutlery.

From here, Western philosophy quickly developed as taverns, inns and other places of contemplation became more hospitable to anyone with a need to think themselves under the table without fear of having their syllogisms derided by ladies of the night willing to speculate for pay as well as provide pork pies and pickles to any gentleman philosopher of means.

Unfortunately, modern philosophy began to distance itself from the traditional speculation undertaken towards the end of an evening in a local hostelry and instead moved itself into the academy. Despite the attempts of philosophy students to keep up the tradition of well-refreshed speculation, university-based philosophy eventually became the irrelevance it is today.