Not only that, have you seen the size of its thighs, Rowena? I mean, you have to ask yourself, or, if not yourself, at least a close acquaintance: is it natural? I mean, as an ostrich it is impressive and - as we agreed - its thighs are quite impressive, but does it have to wear the kilt?
After all, when all is said and done you have to admit that an ostrich does, at the best of times, rather resemble an ambulatory sporran… with a neck, so the kilt – to, what I like to call, my mind - does tend to smack of overkill.
Anyway, with those wings it is not going to have enough grip to maintain any kind of purchase on the bagpipes. As for catching a wild haggis out on the Scottish hillsides: admittedly, the ostrich has a good turn of speed, but what is it going to do when it eventually corners the haggis - peck it to death?
I hope that may go some way towards answering your question, Rowena, as to why the ostrich evolved in Africa and not the Highlands of Scotland.
As for why the penguins evolved where they did, I think the answer is obvious. Any seabird with such ambitions to take over the world is going to need its secret base, from which it will launch its missiles if the governments of the world do not agree to its demands. Obviously, therefore, the penguins are going to choose an out of the way place like Antarctica on which to evolve… as I said, it’s obvious, really.
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