Anyway, if I just put this fetchingly holly-stencilled frying pan down for a moment, we can then see which way is actually true North and not the cheap imitation North you bought from that bloke you met down the pub.
I said at the time you can’t trust any old compass directions, none at all without a badge of authenticity. Furthermore, if you are going to venture into a retail experience emporium at this time of the year then a reliable compass is vital.
We have all heard the tales of shoppers who got lost and disorientated by the way the supermarkets change the position of their goods at this time of year. This is not the seemingly random year-round relocation of random goods – often out of what seems like little more than sheer bloody-mindedness that we have to endure on a week-by-week basis. It is one of those special promotional times of year especially beloved by the retail sector. A time when they seem to believe any old tat becomes instantly desirable by bunging a picture of a bit of holy or a robin on it.
Apparently, it must work too, otherwise why would they keep doing it?
Don’t answer that.
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