The Anti-Fruit and Vegetable Discrimination Squad

Well, anyway, I presume you have remembered the rhubarb this time? I mean, after all the trouble we had just the other week, when the local government anti-fruit and vegetable discrimination squad raided the house claiming that certain anti-rhubarb activities had been witnessed in the area.

Of course, it should be a matter of great concern to all of us that there are some, even in our own communities, who are not indulging in a wide and diverse amount of fruit underneath their custard. After all, we live in a multi-fruit world and no-one would like to see wanton cruelty to plums, or even pineapples, let alone the loganberry riots that disfigured many decades of the last century. We have move on from those dark days and now even certain vegetables – as well as most fruits – are seen in the vegetable racks and fruit dishes from all strata of society, including Brussels sprouts, of course.

There was, back in those earlier times, especially in the post-war period some suspicion of exotic fruit and vegetables. It was – after all – supposed to be a land fit for heroes, and one in which even the most humble working-class woman would be able to get her fill of Cox’s Orange Pippins, and even the lowliest manual worker would have his plums assessed by a professional fruiter on the NHS.

Surely, no-one would want to go back to those days when a women with a nice pear would be harassed on the public thoroughfare and a tomato was regarded as the work of the devil.