There was outrage today when some of the permanently aggrieved community discovered that – yet again – professional contrarian Jeremy Clarkson had not said anything they could get outraged about.
As one serial moaner said:
For years now, I’ve been hoping that Jeremy Clarkson would say something outrageous about me, or my rather dull hobby, so that I too could complain about him. Yet again, he has sown his unreasonable prejudice against me, and people like me – who are unfortunate enough to not be, or do, anything Clarkson finds objectionable, or even partake in something he could write a column moaning about when he has run out of his usual subject matter.
Various groups who like to justify their existence by making everyone else feel guilty about something all rushed onto the bandwagon. They all immediately began complaining about, and condemning Clarkson, in the hope of getting some publicity for themselves before the whole storm in a teacup blew over, or some celebrity fell out of her dress, or Apple released something shiny, to divert the attention of the public away from them again.
DIY traders reported a huge surge in the sale of extendable ladders as people rushed to buy them in the hope of getting on their highest of high horses before the whole episode gets forgotten sometime in the next few days.
Meanwhile, on Twitter all the usual sheep bleated in the usual way.
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