Victimless Crimes

Well, obviously, if you put it like that, who am I to argue, let alone arrange a undertaking for your ‘special’ wallaby to take its final accountancy exams. Still, as they say, you can’t count your chickens without at least some rudimentary form of counting system.

Anyway, there she was standing there stark naked, but with her nudity cunningly hidden under her clothing, so that no-one would suspect her, or her motives. However, having said that, though, the tin of emulsion paint was a bit of a giveaway, especially considering the court order banning her from getting within a hundred yards of any trainee assistant supermarket manager with a tin of paint (emulsion or gloss) with intent to cause a non-consensual first coating was still in force.

It was not so much the fact that having freshly-painted shop assistants was somewhat detrimental to the retail experience of the shop’s customers, it was more that the freshly-painted staff did tend to leave sticky daubs of paint over everything they touched. Thus, leaving it difficult for shoppers to discern the list of ingredients on, say, a tin of peach slices with anything approaching confidence and – as I’m sure you know only too well, a paint-streaked till receipt is next to useless when checking to make sure that one was not overcharged.

Therefore, let us have no more talk of such so-called ‘victimless crimes’ and leave the wallaby in peace to get on with its revision.