The Underwear of the Legends

It was way back in the time of legends were the women wore metal underwear – and little else – and carried swords almost as tall as they were. Of course, the symbolism of women in armour – no matter how little of it there was – carrying large phallic objects was little commented on at the time. Especially, not by anyone who wanted to end up getting too closely acquainted with the sharpest parts of those swords, anyway.

Back in those days men were men – which was the way those other men who hung around down at the docks after nightfall rather liked it, and some of those women with the swords could, with the help of friendly woodcarvers and understanding leather-smiths be men too – at least for a while (or two). Although, that did depend on a completely different approach to swordswomanship, and a confidence that the woodcarver had left no errant wood splinters to bring a premature and painful end to the experience for the ladies they thus befriended.

There was – it must be said – a much more casual attitude to life, sex and death back in those days. Back in those days, the gods were not such moralistic prudes as those invented later and were – as it was commonly known – not averse to sampling more earthly pleasures themselves, even if they did tend towards rather odd imaginings as to what passed for normal forms of sexual experience as understood by the mortals they shared the universe with.

But then, they were gods and their ways were not human ways.