Cheese Incident

In this place, we will find the things that are here. If you remember not to place your eggcups in the vicinity of the Stock Exchange, then you can rest assured in the knowledge that your marmalade will only go towards partial fulfilment of the next cheese incident in the manifesto. All of which without any danger of yet more quantitative easing causing undue consternation amongst those of us who enjoy bedecking office receptionists with a plethora of multi-hued lupins.

But, Delores, always be aware of the helicopters, and do not ask how all the toast will be kept secure. Walls have ears, and some of them may have chins. You may think you know all the secrets of the refrigerator, but you do not know the full story of what lies behind the bacon.

Ah, you laugh nervously now, Delores, but I know all about the cheeseburgers… and the donkey.

I saw it once. It was interesting. It is not that interesting now.

I have seen you, Delores, dallying with the helicopter goatpeople and their beguiling banana-flavoured enticements. But you know too that their chins still bear the stains of electrical indifference.

You may think you understand, Delores, but you are cursed with the need to wear underwear, so you will never know the glory of an early-morning lupin in an adjacent room, or the smell of string vests in the late dusk of summer evenings.