On Tour

Well, there you go… have a nice time. It would be… er… helpful however, if this time you did not take the ukulele. Admittedly, your knowledge of obscure East European ‘nose’ music is probably second to none and many of us who have had the chance to be subjected to your… erm… rather novel interpretations of it – accompanied by the ukulele – do feel it is something of an acquired taste, as the judge at your last deportation hearing suggested.

Not everyone shares the same taste in music, after all, even if what you produce, aided by your rather idiosyncratic approach to the use of the ukulele as a more interpretative device than is usually the case. When you think about it, if you must, you last extended ukulele solo could have been regarded as less of an attempt to extend the boundaries of tired musical genre stereotypes and - as the lady hurriedly dispatched from the RSPCA said – more like the cry of some domestic animal in severe emotional distress.

Still, there is a rather commonly accepted view that all great art is produced from suffering, and your art does make sure that, indeed, we all do suffer for it.

It must therefore count as very great art indeed, and I – for one – would not be in the least bit surprised if you do eventually receive some generous support from the Arts Council, if only to ensure that you spend as much time as possible touring abroad.