Police Fugitive Hunt Continues

[Have you seen this man?]

Police in the north of the UK are today continuing their hunt for a fugitive who they describe as ‘a very dangerous man’ who they want to question in connection with the UK’s massive debt crisis and continued failure to emerge from recession.

The fugitive, known as Gordon Brown, a one-time self-styled Prime Minister, has not often been seen in public since fleeing the scene of his crime – Downing Street in London – several weeks ago.

Acting on a tip-off, the police have traced the fugitive’s presumed whereabouts to somewhere in Scotland, where they believe he is hiding out, planning to release some sort of statement attempting to absolve himself of any role whatsoever in all the crimes that have been put at his door, from selling off the UK’s gold far too cheaply, destroying pensions, creating a massive benefits-led client state and all its apparatus, building an overwhelming state machine that intrudes into people’s private lives and many other crimes committed by him, and his one-time criminal accomplice Tony ‘The Grin’ Blair, during the former Labour government’s long reign of terror.

It is believed that there are several people in the Labour party also searching for him too because of the way his rampage through the UK’s political scene murdered their careers as MPs, forcing many of them to fall fatally from the gravy train, often with little or no chance of ever getting such a cushy number ever again.

Police have warned the public that in the unlikely event that they do see this man, not to approach him under any circumstances as they believe he is armed with several Nokias and is not afraid to use them, they also warn that there is also the clear and present danger that the fugitive could describe anyone he meets as ’a bigot’, once he believes he is out of their hearing.