She may very well be the woman of your dreams, with a complete set of adjustable spanners that make you heart throb with desire. However, even though she may wander unclothed through your dreams clutching a brace of those selfsame spanners and fill your daytime thoughts with thoughts of the nuts you could tighten together, she may not – in the end – come to agree with you that the 1978 AA Road Atlas is humanity’s greatest literary achievement… and that way only disappointment can lie. At least if you have gone to all the trouble of arranging her fruit bowl in alphabetical order and she has dismissed the notion as somewhat unworkable as it places too many kiwi fruit between her bananas and her mandarin oranges.
Still, as they say… or they would if I could recall an aphorism that encapsulates such a quandary in a few pithy words, but I can’t, not whilst wearing these special anti-folk wisdom and popular philosophy-proof underpants anyway. You may well, ask why I have chosen to deploy such protective underwear at this time, however, that is a tale for another day… and – of course – for a pair of anecdote-recounting compatible underpants….
So until that day dawns, I will bid you farewell.
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