Miss World and Religious Fundamentalism

Once, a long time ago now, it seemed most unlikely that a woman from the strict Uttabollux religion would be allowed to enter such a contest as the Miss World (& Canada) Beauty contest, let alone possibly go on to win it.

When Pulchritude Shexy-asa-Ghoat first applied to enter the contest, after entering the Miss Tipton 2011 contest, people were sceptical that the judges could consider a woman who spends her life completely concealed inside a cardboard box as a legitimate entrant, let alone her standing any chance of winning.

When the case came to trial, however, the UK High Court ruled that despite the fact that Miss Shexy-asa-Ghoat’s religion compelled her to stay inside her cardboard box, and that the judges, audiences and everyone else was forbidden to look at her, it should not be a bar to her entry into the competition. The judges ruled that disqualification of Miss Shexy-asa-Ghoat from the competition would be a breach of her human rights, especially her right to follow her religion and the demands it places on its adherents.

Consequently, the Miss Tipton contest judges were forced to judge Miss Shexy-asa-Ghoat through the various stages of the contest such as the Evening Dress Round and the Swimsuit Round all while she was completely hidden from their view inside her cardboard box. However, what was more surprising, especially to some of the audience on the night, was that Miss Shexy-asa-Ghoat won every round. Some audience members even complained that a woman ensconced in a cardboard box winning the contest was an insult to the young women of Tipton, saying ‘how would you feel if someone said you were not as good looking as a cardboard box?’ However, the judges, especially those familiar with the women of Tipton, refused to be swayed by such arguments and their judgement stood, leaving Miss Shexy-asa-Ghoat to go on to enter the Miss UK contest.

After wining the UK national contest, Miss Shexy-asa-Ghoat now automatically qualifies for the Miss World (& Canada) Beauty contest and there is a very strong likelihood that she could win it, despite facing entrants from countries where Uttabollux is the national religion and whose contestants will, therefore, all be hidden from public view inside their own cardboard boxes.

However, some critics of the Beauty Contest industry claim that viewers will not be interested in watching a stage show consisting of several ambulatory cardboard boxes, no matter how well choreographed, and that this could destroy an industry that weathered the storm of po-faced feminism in earlier decades.

Still, however, several worldwide brands have expressed interest in the advertising opportunities offered by large woman-sized blank cardboard boxes and so those record amounts of sponsorship could mean that the contest continues well into the foreseeable future.