Internet Dating and its Pitfalls

So, anyway…. Well, there I was all ready with the geography textbook open at the necessary page, offering a full explanation of terminal moraines (with diagrams) when she suddenly – out of the blue – said she was no longer in the mood.

You should have seen the look of disappointment on the donkey’s face.

As for the bath full of homemade pasta… well, you try poking a load of Tagliatelle down the plughole at that time on a Tuesday evening whilst wearing full evening dress and a top hat. It was just lucky I had the cane too.

Still, on the whole, it was not entirely a wasted evening. The 10:47 from Grimsby was on time… for once. So we had an enjoyable 12 seconds as it sped past. Although, I am not quite sure that we are fully up to sped with all that train spotting entails. As she said: ‘surely there must be more to it than that?’ She has, however, said that before in the past on some far more intimate occasions, but we won’t go into that, especially as it was fresh pineapple… not tinned.

So, as you can see this internet dating business is not as quite as straightforward as I’d hoped. Still, she has promised to see me again… sometime in the next decade or so, and this time, she says, I won’t have to wear the paper bag over my head for the entire evening… only until it gets dark.