Lingerie: Its Role In History

Dampcourse Electronvolt first came to prominence as the leading TV academic specialising in the history of ladies underwear, specifically its important role in some of the most significant  periods and events in the history of the world, and the UK in particular.

As every school-age learning-enabled junior consumption unit knows, it was the taunting of the Normans by the Saxons at Hastings, specifically the much-held Saxon belief that the Normans all wore ladies underwear under their chain mail, that so enraged William the Bastard and his men that led to the successful charge up Senlac hill that lead to the defeat of Harold and brought about the subsequent successful Norman conquest of England.

Ironically, however, recent archaeological research at the site of the battle has proved conclusively that the Battle of Hastings was the first battle in recorded history where the conquering army were all - indeed - wearing French knickers and camisole tops under their armour.

Later on, during the Renaissance it was – of course – that prolific inventor and proto-scientist Leonardo Da Vinci himself, in some of his sketches and drawings, who first came up with the concept of the peep-hole bra and split crotch panties.

Electronvolt maintains that there is some evidence that can attribute the enigmatic smile of the Mona Lisa down to her, in fact, wearing some prototype erotic lingerie invented by Da Vinci during her sittings for the picture.

Everyone, of course, knows that the Duke of Wellington’s famous victory at the Battle of Waterloo train station was down to his personal use of fetish footwear, but few seem to realise what a disastrous choice Napoleon made on the morning of the battle when he opted for a corset instead of the traditional French army regulation basque, which many scholars maintain lost him the battle.

Electronvolt also maintains that the rapid expansion of the British Empire was mainly due to the British army adopting stockings and suspenders for the battlefield, which did help create a tactical advantage, especially for the Highland regiments, in their battles with the natives in both Africa and India.

Consequently, Electronvolt’s new 23.5-part BBC2 series on Lingerie and Its Role In History looks as though it could go down as one of the classics in what is already an illustrious genre, and should be required viewing for all with an interest in history and/or underwear.