The Goat Herder Incident

Apparently, none of the goats herders implicated in the famous case of internet censorship which later became known as The Goat Herder Incident had ever in the past had reason to consort with any Parmesan cheese, shocking as it may seem.

Of course, for several years now there has been an increasing number of busybodies convinced that they know what is best for everyone else intent on forcing their – somewhat dubious – notions of taste and decency upon the rest of us.

As it happens most people go about their own business without feeling the need to get carried away on other people’s behalf, interfering with things that have seemingly rubbed along all right, at least until these self-appointment interferers decided they should become involved.

It has been – especially in some of the more wild and untamed regions of this country outside the ring roads that encircle all we hold most dear - that there are some – only some – goat herders who take a dismissive attitude to certain forms of cheeses. Normally, this should be a matter for themselves alone. However, sine that last Laborg government ratified and introduced the EU-wide legislation outlawing disparagement of and discrimination against the various cheeses of other EU nations, the goat herder’s stance now contravened the law.

Consequently, at the recent goat-herders convention in exotic down-town Bilston, when several photographs of the - admittedly well-refreshed - goat herders were published on ArseAboutFaceBook openly disparaging several cheeses of other EU member countries, especially some Parmesan they regarded as 'like cardboard' there was – of course – outrage that such attitudes still persist in this country in this day and age, despite the fact that cheese-disparagement has along and noble history in this country dating back to the time King Alfred the Great sniggered at some Gouda.

After receiving upwards of nearly two complaints the administrators of the ArseAboutFaceBook site claimed they had no choice but to remove the offending photographs before the rest of the media got hold of the story and bored everyone shitless by banging on about it for several days, or at least until some celebrity fell out of her dress and diverted everyone's attention away from ArseAboutFaceBook once again.

However, the rest of the media – annoyed they'd missed their chance to have a go at ArseAboutFaceBook and thus win back some much-needed advertising revenue, decided instead to attack ArseAboutFaceBook for this act of 'cowardly censorship.' Thus was the story set to run and run, however, some politician said something mildly disparaging about her own party leader and instead the media rushed off to pretend we all cared about that instead.