“So, anyway, what I'm saying is...” the Prophet Nhigel said, pausing for a moment to make sure the holy mates of Nhigel were listening to the wisdom of his words “...is that a wise man, a man of the book, a holy man, will always make sure he has enough for a pint.”
The Mates of Nhigel all nodded wisely for they – to a man – knew the danger of taking issue with Nhigel in theological debate, especially before Opening Time.
“But..?” Fat Paul said.
“What, my son?” Nhigel replied, smiling upon his disciple. “Do not be afraid to speak... for how else can we attain wisdom? That is, unless you are going to say something so stupid that will just get you a kicking?”
“I was just wondering,” Fat Paul mused. “You know that you said the Lord will provide? I mean, what if he's on the bog or having a kip or what have you... y'know, when you're in need of his help.” Fat Paul cowered, taking a step away from Nhigel, just in case.
“An excellent point, my son.” Nhigel beamed at Fat Paul. “One that has puzzled many a theological scholar, particularly after last orders, when it seems that the Lord himself has forsaken us. Especially when the takeaway is so far from the pub. So, gather around my brethren and I will explain the wonders and mysterious ways in which our Lord provides for us, his children.”
Just then the pub doors opened in front of Nhigel and his mates.
“Behold, A Miracle!” They all yelled, heading for the bar as Nhigel smiled to himself, knowing that through the wisdom and beneficence of the Lord he would not be buying the first round.
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