The Toast of the Gods

But still we had all those smaller pieces of the once-mighty toast of the gods, but we had no butter and very little marmalade. It had been a long and dangerous journey to the heart of a lost civilisation, which – as it is often the case with lost civilisations – was deep in the heart of an almost impenetrable jungle. A jungle filled with the deadliest creatures on the planet, who in an eat-or-be-eaten arms-race had become some of the most fearsome creatures in the known universe, including the dread Estate Agents of Earth, a fearsome - and some say, mythical - tribe of the primitive Earth beings who – it is said - will cause untold suffering to those unwary enough to search for a desirable residence on that planet.

However, we knew that the toast of the gods was no myth. Many ancient records speak of the great toasting fork of the gods, and in later centuries the automatic toaster of the gods, as well as the vast fields needed to keep the enormous herds of cows necessary to produce the butter to keep the toast buttered, and the fabled orange marmalade orchard which was once said to cover almost an entire continent of that planet.