Putting It In Her Mouth

Of course, it was totally and completely her idea to put it in her mouth. Perhaps I could have suggested some other way for her to win the award, but I was otherwise engaged at the time.

Well, at least the donkey was pleased, which is more than I can say for the market trader who sold her the cricket bat in the first place. However, many of us called as witnesses for the prosecution did agree that it was what you come to expect, given the state of the education system in this country these days.

That, and the way some people wantonly display their begonias in the most lurid manner, far beyond what would be considered decent in other European countries.

Anyway, so she had the ping-pong ball and a pair of fur-lined mittens, so we thought we were well-prepared for all eventualities, but these days you do not expect such things as half-day closing, not any more. So you can see that she could at least plead some form of provocation, and having said that, the carpet fitter was not the sort of person who you would normally expect to discover hiding in the bushes next to the canal tow-path, especially during such inclement weather.

After all that, though, she was relieved when they dropped all the charges after agreeing the bribe she offered was more that satisfactory, that is if she promised to put it back in her mouth for each of them in turn.