Supermarkets and String Theory

Now it seems as though the very fridges of all we hold dear are overburdened with the special offers and BOGOF deals of all our most holy of supermarkets and the very Cupboard of Destiny itself cannot bear the weight of any more multi-buy savings. Never before in the field of culinary possibility has there been so much choice in the space of one small kitchen… well, at least a kitchen that exists in the conventional three dimensions of space time as we know it and shop in.
Therefore it does seem to make sense that with such concepts as String Theory positing many more than the conventional 3 dimensions that our supermarkets, fridges and – yes – even our food storage cupboards should adapt to this new reality, and themselves take advantage of the possibilities for storage space of these extra dimensions.
Obviously, however, there will be some initial teething troubles, in – for instance – working out just how many tins of baked beans one has when some of them are kept in parts of the cupboard space dimensions not really accessible to the naked eye, or even conventional Euclidian geometry.
Furthermore, these extra dimensions do raise a number of problems for the supermarkets themselves, such as how can one steer a shopping trolley down a food aisle that only exists in – as yet - theoretical possibility. This is especially problematical when shopping trolleys themselves seem to operate in some sort of self-contained distortion of space-time that prevents them ever going in the direction they are pushed.
Also, think of the problems the supermarket security staff will have in catching shoplifters operating in dimensions not readily accessible to in-store CCTV. Furthermore, there is also the question of how store loyalty points would operate in these other – theoretical – dimensions and just how horrendous would a checkout queue become if it spanned as many as half a dozen or more extra dimensions?
Still, once these few teething problems are resolved it should – quite literally – add completely new dimensions to our retail shopping experience and – in this modern world – there is nothing quite so spiritually-uplifting as a possibility like that.