Experimental Mishaps

These days, it takes only one small and insignificant explosion to run your weasel experiments.

We all know that irritating little nursery rhyme about the weasel going pop, but what it fails to mention is the necessity of having to clean it all up afterwards. Weasels may be relatively small, but when they do 'pop' they do tend to 'pop' rather messily, everywhere and over everything, especially with the quantities of rice and treacle involved.

Of course, it doesn't help when you are forced to employ some rather incompetent laboratory assistants due to the restrictive nature of the Nursery Rhyme Employment Continuity Act. I sent both of them off up the hill to fetch a pail of water, in order to wash off some of the more stubborn weasel fragments, but - inevitably - on the way back down they both fell down. Jack now - apparently - has concussion and has to stay in hospital at least overnight. Jill is off work for the next two weeks, at least, suffering from multiple contusions and serious bruising.

I had enough problems with this sort of thing with my previous lab assistant. It took ages - and many exchanges of letters and accident notification reports - for me to convince the Health ands Safety Executive that Humpty Dumpty falling off the wall at the rear of the laboratory complex had nothing at all with inadequate safety procedures in the lab and a great deal to do with him drinking eight pints of Old Hubbard's at lunch time.

As for all the king's horses and all the king's men… well. All I can say is the sooner we get some competent and professional emergency services in this place, the better for all concerned.