Now not only do we have the infestation of diversity-outreach co-ordinators in the wainscoting, there is – apparently - a swarm of local authority five-a-day officers trying to build a nest in the corner of the attic, as well as reports of human resource managers in the drains.
Still, however, we are free of waste-recycling diversity officers making sure that our recycling contains the requisite amount of coloured glass and white plastic in order to meet the latest EU guidelines, so it is not all doom and gloom, despite us seemingly caught up in the doldrums of this eternal winter of our global warming. Despite that, it is always best to look on the bright side of life, that way people seem to think you are some kind of grinning imbecile and that way give you a wide birth, especially on public transport, which often means you get left alone and get a seat to yourself.
Now, I seem to have got this far into the New Year without mentioning the thing I decided not to mention, and – as you can see – I still haven’t mentioned it, despite this broad allusion to it, so that is all for the good. However, I don’t seem to have mentioned pert nipples at all this year, and that would never do… so now I have, and so now all is for the best in this the best of all possible worlds… well, nearly.