Political Funding

Anyway, until the public inquiry reports, there is not much that can be done. Although, obviously, until that report is published, members of the general public have been warned against too close a contact with any politician, either at a local or national level, without taking all the necessary precautions.

Obviously, as many politicians – if they have ever had anything resembling a proper job – have been either lawyers themselves, or have come into close contact with lawyers. Therefore, any ordinary person should make sure they do not allow the politician anywhere near their own money. All purses, wallets, piggy banks and under areas of mattresses should therefore be kept out of sight of any politicians you come into contact with. On no account should you share any bank account details with them. Especially in the politician breeding season during the pre-election stage, particularly if they sidle up to you and ask for a ‘donation’.

Scientists investigating the life-cycle of the politician and the best method of eradicating this menace from society believe that it is this ‘donation’ part of the politicians’ life-cycle that leads to their proliferation. Even people with strong stomachs naturally blanch at the thought of politicians breeding freely, especially out in the wild. Therefore, some scientists believe if these ‘donations’ can be cut off at source – by denying politicians access to money – then society can go a long way towards eradicating the menace of politics from our lives altogether.