Attack at Dawn

And so it began….

Or, at least it would have, if they’d managed to get up on time. However, winter was drawing in and the mornings were getting colder and darker. So, although the invasion of the hated neighbour was scheduled to begin at dawn, everybody was still in bed when the signal for the attack came.

Immediately, the Generals sprung into action and scheduled a working breakfast to see if they could reschedule the invasion for a more reasonable time. ‘Say,’ one suggested, ‘around mid-morning?’

However, the general in charge of the artillery then pointed out that his men would be having their Health & Safety mandated mid-morning break at that point. So if the attack did go ahead then, it would be without artillery support.

The commanding General turned to the Artillery commander. ‘Why do they need this mid-morning break?’

‘They need a break from the noise of the artillery. Health and Safety has decreed that firing great big noisy artillery pieces at the enemy can be a health hazard.’ The artillery commander shrugged. ‘What can I do?’

‘But if we don’t invade at dawn, then they won’t have been firing all morning,’ an aide said.

‘But rules are rules,’ the artillery General said. ‘We could end up with Union trouble, disregarding Health and Safety rules like that.’ He looked around the breakfast table. ‘It’s more than my job’s worth.’

Slowly, as he looked from face to face around the table, each one nodded their agreement.

Meanwhile, over the border, the ancient enemy slept on, oblivious.