The Plague

‘Hmm….’ The shopkeeper looked at me. ‘What sort of thing are you looking for, exactly?’

‘Something… Something… something that will show my anger, my wrath, my displeasure,’ I said, feeling the anger returning.

‘Ah, right.’ The shopkeeper looked around his wares. ‘One of those.’

‘One of what,’ I said.

‘Oh, we get a lot of that from… hobbyists like you.’ He leant forward over the counter. ‘Let me guess… some sort of intelligent life is it, giving you the hump?’

I nodded. ‘How did you know?’

‘I’ve been in this game a few years now,’ he said. ‘My grandfather started this shop; there isn’t much we don’t know.’ He looked around the shop again. ‘We’ve seen it all.’

‘Humans,’ I said.

‘Ah,’ he said, nodding. ‘Humans….’

‘What?’

‘Humans, they are always the worst. Some of them even get the idea that you’ve made them in your own image.’

‘Cheeky buggers,’ I said.

‘You’ll have to be firm with them, otherwise they’ll start taking over your whole creation.’

‘I know,’ I said, sighing. ‘I made this nice little… garden … sort of place for them, just a pair of them, y’know. Next thing I know bloody civilisations of them all over the place.’

‘Typical,’ the shopkeeper said. ‘Have you thought about a flood?’

I nodded. ‘They built boats.’

‘Hmmm….’ He turned to the storeroom at the back ‘Hang on,’ he said.

I waited.

‘Try this,’ he said on his return. He put a box down on the counter. The box shook, shimmied, and bounded. He put his hand down on it. The box bulged and shifted under his hand.

‘What’s that?’ I asked.

‘Frogs.’

‘Frogs?’

‘A plague…’ he said, opening the box carefully. ‘…of frogs.’

I looked in the box. ‘Six is not much of a plague.’

He sucked his teeth. ’ Sorry squire, can’t get the parts… you know how it is….’

I thought for a moment. Last time I’d looked at my creation some of those crafty humans had started inventing the wheel… admittedly it was triangular, but it was only a matter of time…. I looked up at the shopkeeper. ‘Wrap them up, I’ll take them.’

‘A wise choice, sir.’ The shopkeeper said, beaming at me.