Well, it just goes to show, we can’t all be on intimate terms with an antelope, even if we have been on the induction course and watched all the instructional videos. Some animals it seems are just rather selective over whom they have for companions. I once, for example knew of a wildebeest that befriended a telecommunications engineer, but that was in Hartlepool, so we can’t be too restrictive about our criteria.
Anyway, as I was saying before you put mayonnaise on your cucumber in a fashion likely to cause a breach of the peace, we can’t be that sure that the antelope wasn’t – for example – just in a hurry. Perhaps wanting to get home to watch a televised sports match, or take an urgent phone call from his booking agent about appearing on a David Attenborough nature wildlife documentary.
All in all you can never really be too sure, as the bishop said to the actress, or was it as the actress said to the bishop. With them both wearing dresses, it is sometimes often difficult to be certain about such matters of ecclesiastical exactitude, as I’m sure you would agree, if only you’d put down that cucumber sandwich for a moment and pay attention.
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