Going out

Time and tide wait for no man. They will, however, hang on for another five minutes or so for a woman as they know that when she does say she is – at last – ready, the comment is to be taken more as an aspiration than a statement of fact.

However, we should not let mere facts and literalness spoil what would otherwise be yet another tedious excursion out into the world that lies there waiting for us like one over-large slough of disappointment (not too unlike that actual Slough of disappointment), albeit one it with ample car-parking facilities. So ample, in fact, that there is a sense of foreboding that the car – such that it is – will never be seen again by either of you as you make your weary way towards whatever form of ‘entertainment’ you have stumped up the annual domestic budget of a small nation for this time.

Of course, the weather gods will have all got together at their last forward planning meeting and decided that as you are making an effort to ‘go out’ they will schedule their latest attempt to gain media attention through the use of extreme weather on that particular night. This will only result in yet another failed attempt on their part to get the human race to start believing in them once again. Although, deep down they know that such an occurrence will need something of the size of Gilgamesh or Noah to get them ever taken seriously again, with – no doubt – some other god jumping in to take all the credit for their efforts… again.

On the way back though, after being more than passably entertained, you do say to each other, now that the worst of the storm is past, that it wasn’t so bad after all, maybe even worth the eye-bleeding amount of money it cost and that – maybe, just maybe – you’ll consider doing it all again, only not in the immediate future.

Of course, that is all dependent on ever finding the car again.