The Maiden Flight

Even then it was not quite all that we were led to believe, even if the optional courgette was included. Still, for that sort of price it is hard to complain, although that doesn't stop some from trying.

Anyway, once the flight engineer had lubricated all the necessary parts, it was time to take our positions for the maiden flight. Although, by this time the maiden herself was busy checking her phone diary trying to find some urgent appointment elsewhere, preferably not on the intended flightpath.

However, the various health and safety checks were now complete, a mere five and a half years after the idea was first mooted. Some still say, however, that the first year of preparations for the maiden flight, or to be accurate, maiden's flight of the decade saw the greatest influx of health and safety inspectors into one location the world has ever known. Such is the nature of progress.

Some do say that if Wilbur and Orville Wright had been subject to the same amount of health and safety scrutiny their machine would have been unable to take to the air. Mainly because of the extra weight of the warning stickers, alert notices and other such safety paraphernalia mandated by such inspectors.

However, our maiden had her high-visibility jacket, safety helmet and – of course – her mandatory emergency courgette, so there was very little the inspectorate could do to halt it. Except check there wasn't another form somewhere in the regulatory universe that would give them more justification for their existence.

So, there she stood at the runway, with all mandatory health warnings, safety instructions and emergency gear all around her, ready for the take off.

It was only then that some small boy, usually found around the feet of fashion-conscious emperors, pointed out that in our haste to comply with all the health and safety inspections, and locate a suitable safety courgette, we'd somehow forgotten to build the plane.

Still, we have until next Tuesday before our maiden is due elsewhere.

 

[Books by David Hadley are available here (UK) or here (US).]