Out of the Frying Pan

Still, as you may know, this is not quite the frying pan in question. However, it will do to illustrate this lecture as it is fairly close in style and type to the original frying pan – although, of course, without the obvious dent. This dent, though, was not an original feature of the frying pan. Thus, this similar pan could therefore stand in as the pre-incident frying pan. The dent itself was not – as some allege – already there in the frying pan. They claim – not without a modicum of justification – that the dent could have occurred there as a way of distinguishing this frying pan from a myriad of other similar – and often indistinguishable items. Perhaps in the hope of gaining some sort of celebrity chef endorsement.

However, the magical properties of celebrity names purportedly imbue any object given their imprimatur with the spirit of that celebrity. Thus implying a magical transfer of celebrity to the purchaser and subsequent user of the item takes place.

Such concepts, however, are beyond the scope of this article. This piece is more concerned with how the dent got into the frying pan in the first place.

However, as the defendant – hereinafter referred to as ‘the wife’ - got the dent in the frying pan is revealed – she claims in her sworn testimony - by a simple perusal of the above paragraph concerning celebrity endorsements. That paragraph she submits in her defence, along with a claim of unreasonable provocation at an unsociable hour and the stress of breakfast-time preparations.

Me…? I’m not saying anything. There is room for at least one more dent in that frying pan.