The Pork Pie and Society

Of course, once you have the pork pie firmly grasped in the right hand, all manner of things become possible that were not possible beforehand. - The Pork Pie and Society. It was – probably – those very opening words from his seminal masterpiece, that made Ordinance Quimtrimmer the most famous philosopher of his age. Up until then, academic philosophy had been dominated by the Logical-sandwichists, who – famously – believed that all philosophical problems could be solved by a decent sandwich – although there were several competing schools of though who argued over which of the many varieties of sandwiches was the ideal sandwich – an idea that can be traced back to Plato's idea of Forms. Although, it wasn't until the scientific age that a true philosophical understanding of the nature of sauces, chutneys and relishes – up to and including sweet pickle - was put on a much more rigorous philosophical footing, thus enabling the sandwich to take its place at what the logico-sandwichists claimed was the heart of philosophical eating.

However, when Quimtrimmer came along, claiming that it was the pork pie, not the sandwich, that was the true philosophical lunch, chaos broke out in the normally staid world of the academic philosophy departments of the Western world. Thus bringing about the significant revolution in lunch and snack-based eating habits that has transformed the post-war Western world, most would say to the greater benefit of civilisation as a whole.

Others, though, point to the Pot Noodle and despair.