Well, anyway, here we are standing next to the latest piece of public sculpture commission by a local authority to commemorate some pet project or other some local councillor wanted to….
Hang on… sorry, this is not it.
Apparently, this is the local council Recycling Centre overflow pile.
The sculpture is over there….
Hang on….
Anyway, I have here with me, the local councillor: Wodge Spendthrift.
Ms Spendthrift, can I begin by…? Er…. So, this is it? Are you sure? To be honest, I think I preferred that pile of recycling.
Ah, unfortunately Ms Spendthrift has just remembered another appointment, so moving on….
The local council apparently had to close down six libraries and seven old people’s homes in order to afford to commission this… this… this thing. Obviously, it is money well spent as specially-commissioned research has shown that it could bring in significant amounts of tourists… quite possibly in order to wonder at the complete waste of money that the council has pissed away on this… this….
Oh, apparently, it has won an award. Unsurprisingly it is an award by a committee trying to promote more public sculptures of this kind and that committee is mainly made up from the people who would receive significant percentages of that commissioning money.
Apparently, a reader of a local newspaper has worked out it would have been cheaper for the council to burn a pile of five pound notes heaped up to the same height as this… this… thing….
Anyway, back to the studio… please.
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