An Essential Rock Band

Corrugated Transfat released their first single, on the incredibly hip Tosser label, way back in the mists of 1977, a time when all the hip young things were trying to persuade everyone, including themselves that punk was the thing of the moment. Despite arriving on the scene at the same time as punk, and releasing their first three singles on one of punk’s most iconic record labels, Corrugated Transfat were never really a punk band. For example, their lead guitarist Trim Understeer, knew which way up to hold a guitar and – despite the rumours to the contrary - their drummer, Crude Undertakings, never once tried to eat his own drum sticks.

That first single, Petrol in My left Ear (Baby) was totally ignored by the record-buying public, thereby forcing the music journalists trying to prove their street-cred into branding it an instant classic, the one single of the year everyone who regarded himself (this was, of course a totally male thing) as a serious record collector needed to bite off his own granny’s left leg to get hold of.

However, despite a significant increase in the number of suddenly semi-ambulatory old-age pensioners, the record never got the chart success the more deludedly-fashionable of the music journalists wanted it to be. This only went on to prove to them that they were right, for the only thing better that chart success to a hip journalist on the music papers was a complete lack of chart success by those they championed.

Not long after, Corrugated Transfat, split up due to the perennial ‘musical differences’ when their bass player, Torquewrench Portakabin, got a proper job with a leading accountancy firm, thereby instantly making the band the name to drop when reminiscing about the punk era with other similar overweight middle managers and sales reps pretending that ‘yeah, like I was there, man’.