Ah, yes, well. As you all know by now, we do not keep any of the Spanish onions on the premises. In case of accident, or any other unfortunate incident, the storage facility for such volatile vegetables in only a swift six-hour pursuit tandem ride away. Very convenient indeed, I'm sure you will agree.
So, if anyone is - say - bleeding to death through a lack of radishes, help will be on hand before they have a chance to completely read Book One of War and Peace - no matter how fast a reader they are, or even how much blood they spill on the pages.
Of course, for serious emergencies: for example, a severe lettuce shortage causing heart arrhythmia, or even cucumber-related itchy-knee, we do have the medi-vac helicopter.
Unfortunately, we do not have anyone qualified to pilot it. Although Natalie, our erstwhile Vegetable-Awareness Officer herself has kindly volunteered to - at least - give it a go, but only as long as she is sober enough to read at least the larger print in the instruction manual.
Despite her kind offer - which we have, of course, accepted - we find we are too short of funds to purchase any helicopter fuel. So, for the time being until funds are made available, we can only therefore offer the stricken patient the - no-doubt comforting and reassuring - experience of being able to look at the helicopter, sitting proudly pristine on its pad, as their life-force slowly ebbs away. No doubt, a great comfort for them, I'm sure you will agree.
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