Even then it was not unknown for her to languidly drape herself across a piano in a state of almost complete undress. This of course, as it was an upright piano, did require a certain natural sense of balance, as well as some forethought as to the all-important placement of the elbows, especially amongst the plenitude of half-empty pint glasses that gathered upon that surface as the evening progressed.
However, it was a far more preferable way of disporting herself in such a crowded room than her earlier idea of bounding around the – rather-limited – dance floor fully-naked on a pogo-stick. Although connoisseurs of the pogo-stick did all agree that her natural exuberance did lend a certain quality to the proceedings which made it something of an eye-catching spectacle, sometimes even an eye-watering spectacle should you be caught unawares by one of her gyrating limbs as she reached heights that made the spectators look up in wonder at her dexterity, especially when she began playing the banjo at the same time.
However, unfortunately, her attempt to break the world record for eating tuna and mayonnaise sandwiches whilst riding a pogo-stick when naked, ended in severe disappointment when, on her twenty-seventh sandwich, disaster struck and her sandwich preparation teams back in the pits ran out of butter, forcing her to attempt a rather dry twenty-eighth sandwich, which despite the liberal application of mayonnaise, ended in catastrophe when a swarm of feral cats attracted by the pungency of the tuna attacked her and forced her to dismount the pogo-stick with some alacrity and seek sanctuary in the commentators' booth – which is when we first met.
Then, dear reader, I married her.
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