The British Empire

It is surprising to see that the most obvious reason why Britain built the largest empire the world has ever seen is so often overlooked by historians. But then historians have a nice comfortable job indoors, often inside nice warm universities and colleges.

If historians got out a bit more then they would - probably – come to the same conclusion that others of us have come to whilst outdoors. That is the main reason the British created an empire was mainly to get out of the rain and/or the cold.

You will notice that the British empire – after an early mistake with Canada - took place mostly in warmer climes. For example, Norway was never at outpost of the British Empire (after all, even the Vikings came here to get away from it), nor was Iceland or Russia. We even let the Russians - and then the Americans have that really cold bit that dangles off the end of Canada – Alaska - while we headed for the sun.

It is also why the Roman empire ended in Britain – at Hadrian's Wall – then declined from there and all the other cold and damp bits inhabited by violent tribesmen dressed mostly in fur. When they hung around conquering in the Mediterranean the Romans couldn't be beaten, but once the cold breezes got up their togas and their sandals got damp, even they had to give up.

So, my advice to any evil genius planning on world domination: do yourself a favour, mate, and pick somewhere warm to invade.

You know it makes sense.