A Fair Cop

So, not only was she tuning up the banjo – with intent – the police also charged her with being too close to the trampoline whilst not wearing the heath and safety executive's now-mandated full medieval plate armour as a precaution against laddering her tights on the badger's claws as she mounted the trampoline clutching her banjo.

As we now know, recent legislation now allows the police top take action against anything they feel like on any particular day, whether or not it is actually against the law. These changes have been brought about since the recent successful legal action by two serving police officers who were made to attempt to arrest a violent criminal, thus placing them both in a hazardous workplace environment. Having the courts find the police forces are liable for not providing a safe working environment for their employees, the government has had no choice but to make it illegal for the police to confront anyone doing anything illegal, or threatening harm to the arresting officers. Therefore, the government needed to find something else for the police to do, besides just arresting people for being dickheads on social media.

Hence the arrest of the lady threatening to use the banjo without wearing the correct mandated safety gear for using a trampoline in a built-up area.

However, as she said: 'it's a fair cop.'

Mind how you go.