Still, anyway, it was not really that unusual – apart from the lemon, obviously – but then she was the sort of woman who knew things, especially about lemons. Lemons, and – of course – the best way to hold a jar of marmalade without causing unnecessary distress to any passers-by, but then these days we all know a little too much about marmalade to be entirely comfortable holding it in mixed company, let alone out on the public thoroughfare.
Still, you might wonder about the lemons… truth be told, so do I….
So do I….
There are times when I wake up at night, thinking of the way she held those lemons, so tight, so firm. Eroticism is a funny thing, especially when you consider the marmalade as well, but she was that kind of woman. It was easy to see she knew about the uses a couple can find for marmalade when the toast of their love is still hot. The way she spread her marmalade on her toast, well, I would have… I did… give everything I had just to see her do that each morning.
As for the lemons, well, the things she could do with a home-made lemon meringue, a spoon and her tongue… well, I would have crawled naked through vats of Marmite, just for one more spoonful of her lemon meringue.
But, of course all good things come to an end.
One day, there were no more lemons and the marmalade jar was gone from the cupboard.
She left me a slice of toast, but what use is a slice of toast when the woman who once buttered your toast has gone?