Well, as you are no doubt well aware, recent EU legislation has outlawed disparaging comments made against any woodland creatures, indigenous or otherwise. In some parts of the EU, which used to be separate countries until they were subsumed by the ever-hungry bureaucratic morass that is the EU’s governing bodies, there has been a long tradition of insulting the boar, for which animal rights (sic) campaigners have long argued for a ban, saying that this is little more than species-ism and that comparing a boar to one’s mother-in-law should be regarded as a crime more damaging to the self-esteem of a boar than the recently-outlawed showing a goose a jar of pate and sniggering in a way to cause distress to the goose and any vulnerable goslings in the vicinity.
The British delegation fought bravely for almost five whole minutes before giving in completely to get an opt-out from this legislation for the UK, considering the facts that Britain has no wild boars (plenty of bores, of course) and that the traditional rural sport of Taking The Piss Out Of The Squirrels is already threatened by urban encroachment, and could be dealt a devastating blow, just when the sport was showing signs of revival, mainly due to it being a demonstration sport at the recent London Olympics, where the UK’s leading exponent of arboreal mammal-related abuse, Ken ‘The Hazelnut’ Nonsequitor, won a silver medal for reducing a pine marten to a quivering wreck by calling it a ugly ferret – a move later condemned by the RSPCA and the UK’s powerful ferret-fondling lobby.
However, critics of the new law have suggested that the UK do what all other EU countries do, when a law is brought in they don’t like, by simply ignoring it and carrying on as usual.
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