So, anyway….
There it was standing tall, proud and… oh, hang on. No….
Sorry, I was thinking of something else then.
Maybe one day I’ll tell you about it… when we know one another a little better and there is less chance of any misunderstanding leading to distressing legal action and/or 4-page picture spreads in the more excitable tabloids.
So, anyway, where was I?
Ah, yes. As I was standi….
The other thing?
No, you don’t want to know about that, especially if you are about to eat, or have just eaten. A commissioning editor on one of the low-audience Sharks and Shock Horror channels would even blanch and study the small print on his contract when asked to commission a programme about such a subject.
It is best you don’t know.
Trust me….
Oh, all right, then… don’t. After all, it is no skin off my…. No, forget I said that.
No, it has absolutely nothing to do with that… it was just a figure of speech.
No, I always look like this… and I do always stand like this.
I wish I hadn’t mentioned it now.
You are not going to shut up about this, are you?
….
…..
All right, meet me around the back of the blog in ten minutes… and bring a torch….
And a magnifying glass.
If you could get one of those paper bags they give you on aeroplanes too, that might be a good idea.
And remember, I did warn you.
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