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‘Baffy… drum paddle…. hen tambourine.’
‘What?’ Frank said, shoving Jane across the bed so he could squeeze back in.
Jane sighed and opened her eyes. ‘I said: Be careful walking about, Dawn stayed over last night when we got back late.’ She closed her eyes again.
‘I know.’
Jane half-opened one eye. ‘How? You were fast asleep.’
‘I just met her. I went for a pi... to the toilet, then I needed a drink. She was in the kitchen drinking coffee.’
‘Oh, right.’ Jane closed the half-open eye.
‘I was stark bollock naked.’
‘What?’ Both Jane’s eyes were now wide open.
‘Well, how was I to know she would be here, sitting fully-dressed in our kitchen at this time in the morning, drinking coffee?’
‘Did she see… er… y’know… your… well, y’know?’
‘Yes…. Yes, she did.’
‘Oh, bollocks.’
‘Yes, those too… probably.’
‘You weren’t… y’know?’
‘What?’
Jane reached down. ‘Like this? Up and alert.’
‘No… no…. Relaxed and at ease.’
‘You didn’t do that thing…?’
‘What thing?’
‘That thing where you just seem to start playing with it, sort of absent-mindedly.’
‘No….er…. Well, I don’t think so.’ Frank said. ‘I may have scratched it… before I knew she was there, obviously.’
‘I didn’t hear any screams.’
‘No, I think I handled it rather well… er, not the ideal turn of phrase… I mean I obviously handled it well by definitely not handling it at all in her presence… if you see what I mean.’
Jane sighed and got out of bed.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘Are you sure it wasn’t hard when she saw it. I mean it was when you got back in bed.’
‘Well,’ Frank said. ‘You know the effect you have on me.’
‘Do I…? Really?’ Jane preened as she fastened the belt of her dressing gown. ‘That’s all down to me is it?’
‘yes, of course. Apart from those times… y’know… when I’m over-tired or ill… or something.’
‘Hmmm.’
*
In the kitchen Dawn was sitting at the table, absently playing with a teaspoon.
‘Morning,’ Jane said, walking to the sink to fill the kettle.
‘Morning, how’s the head?’ Dawn said
‘Not too bad.’ Jane sat down opposite Dawn. ‘I want to apologise for earlier… for Frank. He didn’t know you were here.’
‘Oh, no problem.’ Dawn said. ‘After all, you get used to them, don’t you?’
‘Er… yes, I suppose so.’
‘I mean, after you’ve been doing it for a while, you get to recognise people with the same interests, don’t you think?’
‘Er….’
‘Why didn’t you ever tell me about it, though? I thought we were friends?’
Jane stared for a moment. ‘Not much to tell, it is just a normal o….’
‘Exactly,’ Dawn said. ‘I wish you’d mentioned it before, though. I’m one too!’
Jane couldn’t help it; she stared down at Dawn’s crotch before she could stop herself. She looked back up at Dawn’s face; she didn’t look like a transvestite.
‘You… you mean you are a m….’
‘A naturist… nudist… Yes, yes I am.’ Dawn beamed. ‘What a co-incidence, eh?’
‘’Er….’ Jane nodded quickly. ‘Yes, er… isn’t it?’
[….]
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