A Certain Amount of Dexterity

Of course, she was the love of my life. I could but not admire her dexterity with the tambourine, if nothing else. I mean, when it comes to balancing a tambourine on the back of a galloping antelope whilst filling in a questionnaire about the mating habits of the trainee supermarket manager, you could not help but be impressed.

Although, as we lay together as the sun set over the smouldering remains of the last feral banker her tribe had feasted upon that night, I had to ask her just what is the use of these - and other such traditional skills - in this day and age….

I mean, riding a bareback seamstress whilst grating cheese into a bucket does require a certain amount of dexterity, but these days it is easier to get a mobile phone app for it, than to go all the way through the forest to the secluded clearings where her tribe camps, just to see it done.

The, of course, she turned on me, anger in her eyes, saying how little I knew of her people, their traditions, their ways and how the women of the tribe we taught how to kill a man with their bare hands and how to incapacitate a man utilising a special trick with the thighs.

I apologised and she let me go… in the end.

One day I hope I will be able to walk normally again, but in the meantime I spend my days polishing my teaspoons, waiting for the darkness to fall and dreaming of revenge.